Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
