C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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