I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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