Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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