and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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