The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
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a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
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Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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