did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
