PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
