She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize