Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize