it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
