I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
