I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is it penis luge time yet?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
