Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize