I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
