i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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