Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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