in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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