I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
