Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
a search helicopter?!
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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