I don't remember. Are we still dating?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
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it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
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No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person