I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
