what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
