i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
