That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
