He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am mentally ready for anal.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
