i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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