I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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