Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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