well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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