Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You need a sexual gate keeper
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize