i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
