It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
