So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
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Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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