no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
