No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
