Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize