connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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