Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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