Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
