Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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