I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
