exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
