youre lurking in front of me
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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