one might say we're banned from that church
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
