The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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