just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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