Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
