Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If I die, sorry about rent.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
