Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
