well you can't waste a boner
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
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You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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