Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
