i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
