i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
