ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
